Of almost 127 million Americans age 40 and over, more than a third are unattached. They’re either casualties of the divorce explosion (13%); widowed (11%); or never married (8%).
Of those singles, more than 25 million are women. And perhaps because these over-40 women are likely to be more fit and health-conscious than their mother’s generation, and to have a younger mind-set, observers say they’re seeing a surge in over-40 dating — in a dating world that has changed as much as they have.
“The standard parameters of dating from your 20s are no longer in play,” says Jane Ganahl, 53, editor of Single Woman of a Certain Age, a collection of essays from 29 single-at-midlife female writers.
“Women in their young life date to get married and date to have babies. After a certain point, it becomes almost a non-issue,” she says. “The ‘M word’ and the wedding aren’t the primary focus anymore. It’s liberating.”
But it’s still scary.
“I’m 16 all over again,” says Paula England, 55, a Stanford University sociology professor divorced for eight years. “What I experienced was this feeling of being back in high school again, but I didn’t know the rules or conventions.”
Now, a glut of new dating books is helping these women adjust to changes and new mores with practical advice and others’ experiences.
“I’ve done everything from answering ads in newspapers to online dating to spending $5,000 for a matchmaker to going out with people that friends have introduced,” says Sherry Halperin, 62, of La Quinta, Calif. Her book Rescue Me, He’s Wearing a Moose Hat is based on her re-entry into the dating scene about a year after her husband’s death. They had been married 26 years; she was 50 when he died.
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