Add your best jokes here.  Probably best to warn you, some may be a bit crude.

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An ion walks into a bar and sits down at the counter. He gets the bartender’s attention, and starts to ask him a question:

"Hey bartender - I think that last time I was in here I left an electron laying around"

"Are you sure?"

"I’m positive!"
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Heisenberg is speeding down the highway when he gets pulled over by a police officer. The cop approaches his car, and heisenberg rolls down his window.

Cop: "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg: "No, but I know where I am!"
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Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him!
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A horse walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "I am deeply concerned about the anthropomorphic nature of my existence and the extent to which I am protected by the law."
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Tomorrow’s clairvoyants meeting has been canceled due to unforseen events.
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A guy is driving his new BMW down the interstate one night, and he’s going a little too fast. Out of nowhere comes those flashing blue lights behind him. The guy decides on an impulse to outrun the cop. After all, this is a BMW, not some rickety cop car.

So he’s going 90mph, and the cop is still there. Then 100. 130, and the cop is still there. The guy comes to his senses and realizes what a stupid thing he’s doing, so he pulls over.

The cop walks up to his window and looks at him, and says "look. You’re my last stop of the night, and I really don’t feel like doing all the paperwork involved in arresting you. So if you can give me one good reason why you did what just happened here tonight, I’ll let you go."

The guy thinks for a second, then says, "my wife left me for a policeman last month. I thought you were trying to give her back."

The cop says, "have a nice night.".
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What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A Fsh!
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How do you kill a circus?

Go straight for the juggler.
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A blonde walks into a bar…

And says, "Ouch."
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