Taking the Wii to a whole new level

From Kotaku.com (via statesman.com) comes this unbelievably awesome story. I can hardly contain myself:

Christina Alvarado told Austin police that she woke up her boyfriend, Daniel Alvarez, 21, Monday morning after discovering her cookies were gone, according to the affidavit.

Alvarez became upset that Alvarado woke him and began to yell at her, according to the affidavit. Alvarado told police that Alvarez got her into a choke hold that lasted several seconds before she was able to hit him in the eye to break free, according to the affidavit.

The two struggled until they ended up in the living room, where Alvarez grabbed a Wii controller, according to the affidavit. He put his knees on her chest to pin her down and strangled her with the cord of the video game controller, according to the affidavit.

Look, it’s uncool to eat someone else’s cookies, but you don’t wake someone up from sleeping. It’s just about the worst thing you can do to a man that doesn’t involve injuring his penis in some form. She’s lucky that all he did was choke her with the Wii controller. Part of me thinks that she kind of liked it, though. I’m actually pretty into choking, but I like when it’s done to me. Maybe even a plastic bag over my head if I feel a real connection with the girl. You know, the type you want to raise your children. I hope my mom reads this.

Via: unrealitymag