It might seem a great idea after several glasses of wine, but the perennial office Christmas party trick of photocopying intimate parts of your anatomy is a dangerous business, British workers were warned.

The photocopier’s glass could shatter, with disastrous results, safety experts and trade union leaders warned in an exhaustive pre-Christmas list of how to avert peril at the workplace get-together.

Managers should even avoid putting up mistletoe lest the resulting grappled kisses prompt sexual harassment lawsuits, according to the advice compiled by Britain’s Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents, or RoSPA.

“We are not being party poopers,” said Roger Bibbings of RoSPA, which published the advice jointly with the country’s main trade union body, the TUC.

“Some sensible safety precautions will allow people to have a great office celebration without having to call in the emergency services.”

To avoid poisoning, party food should be kept in a fridge, while smoking and candles are a fire risk, the advice warns.

In fact, the safest option of all is to steer well clear of the office and hold the event in a hotel or bar instead.