Albino Bowler Action Figure

The doors swing wide open and he stands in the doorway – a pale figure with stark white hair and a bowling bag. It’s Dick, the Albino Bowler, and he’s come to bowl. If you’re lucky enough to be at one of the small town bowling alleys he chooses to visit, you’re in for a treat. Soon everyone in the alley will be gathered around his lane to witness his extraordinary display of bowling virtuosity and his thick white sideburns. Each 5" tall action figure is made of hard plastic and comes with his traditional white ball. Push the button on his back and he’ll send the ball down the lane! Comes in our illustrated package with the legend of Dick detailed on the back.

Ceramic Smoking Baby

Of all the things that shouldn’t smoke, babies are at the top of the list. The tag line for this product emphatically states our position on this issue: Real Babies Should Never Smoke! Ceramic babies smoking, on the other hand, are strangely appealing. Celebrate this absurd juxtaposition with one of these 2 3/4" tall ceramic babies. Each infant comes with a pack of ten Li’l Smokes and has another one in its mouth, ready to light up and puff. The smokes are actually non-toxic, unscented incense wrapped in paper.

Cold War Unicorns Play Set

The Cold War Unicorns Play Set allows you to play out the intense struggle between two global superpowers in the majestic fantasy world of the Unicorn! Can the Communist Unicorn’s horn of classless social structure hold up against the Freedom Unicorn’s hooves of capitalist opportunity? Each hard vinyl unicorn is 3-3/4" tall with articulated joints for all sorts of dramatic poses.

Bacon Flavored Toothpicks

Whether you yearn to eliminate unsightly debris from those hard-to-reach spaces between your teeth or you crave a splash of bacon zest to spice up a boring oral hygiene routine, these bacon-flavored toothpicks are for you. Arm yourself with invigorating pig freshness and the confidence that you can take on the world. The next time you pig out, you’ll be glad you have these flavorful slender sticks of wood by your side. Each 3" x 1-1/4" x 1/2" tin contains eighty toothpicks.

Dashboard Ninjas

Ninjas are everywhere. They mingle among us, they hang out in trees and they sneak around at night taking care of their nefarious business. This 3-1/2" tall, hard vinyl dashboard ornament features two of these elusive and deadly assassins engaged in a dramatic battle. Each ninja is attached by a metal spring to a 5-1/2" wide, hard vinyl throwing star base with adhesive on the bottom.

       
Create A Commie

Lenin or Marx? Castro or Trotsky? No matter who your favorite communist is, you’re sure to love Create A Commie. Just move the metal shavings around with the magnetic plastic wand to transform the generic red face into the communist of your choice. Frame is 6" tall and made of plastic.

Cat Acupuncture Model

If you love animals, why not stick them full of needles to make them healthier? Acupuncture is the ancient science of pressure points and is not limited to humans. This 11" long, hollow rubber Cat Acupuncture Model on a wooden base and accompanying booklet will give you a guide to the feline meridians. We recommend that you use this as a decorative piece, do not stick needles in your kitty!

       
Corn Dog Air Freshener

The corn dog is quite possibly the best food on a stick ever created! Close your eyes and you can almost smell the sweet honey batter and the steaming, salty meat product nestled inside. This 6-1/4" long air freshener has the sharp aroma of bright yellow mustard, which might not make your car smell the best, but it will make all of your passengers drool. Comes with a string for hanging.

       
Bearded Lady Play Set

Step right up, Ladies and Gentlemen, and witness some of the strangest sights your eyes have ever seen! Behind this curtain you’ll find some of nature’s most amazing human beings! See our biggest surprise, a gal with the face of an angel and the beard of a pirate, the remarkable Bearded Lady! Each play set comes with a 5-1/2" x 4" plastic stage and a 5-1/4" square vinyl banner featuring an old-time sideshow illustration. Vinyl. 4" tall.

       
Vincent van Gogh Action Figure

Vincent van Gogh is truly the epitome of posthumous fame and notoriety. He experienced very little success in his life, yet today countless posters of his paintings hang in homes throughout the world. This 5-1/4" tall, hard vinyl figure has two interchangeable heads and comes with a paintbrush, a palette, an easel, a frame and some mini masterpieces to display.

How to Get Along with Girls Book

We’ve updated, refreshed and reprinted a series of unintentionally funny booklets from the 1930s and 1940s! Each one is filled with tantalizing secrets, advice and wisdom from the days when "making love" meant holding hands on the porch swing. Each perfect bound paperback is 7.25" x 4.75".

Death Row Bubble Gum Cigarettes

Satisfy your oral fixation with these classic Bubble Gum Cigarettes. Each 3-1/8" x 2" x 5/8" pack contains twelve 2-3/4" sticks of bubble gum that are cleverly disguised in a paper wrapping to look like cigarettes. We’re pretty sure that the Surgeon General will have no problem with you chewing a pack a day!

       
Watermelon Flavored Sigmund Freud Head Pops

Once you get over the initial reluctance to put a human head in your mouth, you’ll find that the subtle contours and watermelon flavor of these Sigmund Freud Head Pops are worth the strange looks you’ll get as you suck them. Each sucker is about 2-1/4" tall with a 4" plastic stick. Twenty-four individually wrapped lollipops in each illustrated display box.

       
Pirate Toast Stamper

Nothing prepares the crew for a day of delinquency like a slice of hot, buttered pirate toast with a side of lemon wedges. Just press this 3-3/4" x 3" plastic Pirate Toast Stamper into a piece of bread, then put your bread in the toaster on a dark setting. The resulting toast will be emblazoned with the menacing image of a skull and crossed swords!

       
Last Supper After Dinner Mints

Are the flavors of your last supper lingering too long? Freshen your palate with the miraculous breath-cleansing power of these Last Supper After Dinner Mints. Each collectible, 3" x 1-1/4" x -1/2" tin contains one hundred mints that you can share with your apostles!

       
Glow-in-the-Dark Flesh Eating Zombies Play Set

Wreak havoc on your sister’s precious diorama with this Flesh Eating Zombie Play Set! Each set includes nine 1" to 3.25" tall, hard vinyl zombies, complete with blank stares, gaping mouths, open wounds and missing limbs! Turn off the lights and they glow! Fantastic undead fun for the whole family!

What Would Bacon Do? Deluxe Spin Folder

A good folder not only holds your important papers, but provides some form of entertainment to get you through those droning lectures and meetings. Doodling on a Pee-Chee is fun for awhile, but pretty soon you’re going to get the urge to flick something. These 9-1/2" x 12" glossy folders all feature classic spinner technology; just flick the spinner and watch it twirl round and round before stopping on an amusing phrase.

Via Archie McPhee