Generator Land has this Homespun Analogy Generator, which will spit out funny analogies as funny as Dave Chappelle before he went nuts.

Here are some from the hall of fame:

I’m as gassy as a sick seal in a bowl of soup.

He’s as grumpy as a holy badger at a pie eatin’ contest.

She’s as undecided as an oriental sloth with an itch.

I’m as truthful as an overweight antelope having a sneezing fit.

via Neatorama