Seriously If Your So Drunk That You Need This Device Don’t You Think Its Time To Call A Cab?

Patent 6,681,419 concerns a mounting device known as the Forehead Support Apparatus. It is a gizmo that is adapted for attachment to a bathroom wall either above the commode or urinal or below the showerhead. A head support is attached to and extends from the wall and the mounting device. The question is: why would anyone need this? (Obviously a question the inventor never asked himself or we wouldn’t be here in the first place, would we?)

The apparatus includes a mounting member to which the compressible head support member is attached and extends from the wall. The forehead support surface is placed above the floor and at a sufficient distance from the wall so that the user can lean his forehead against it and be supported while using the commode or urinal.

If this is a new means of mind control, it is strictly for minds heretofore unknown to mankind. It is unlikely that significant thoughts can really flourish at such an awkward moment in time and staggering that someone would think otherwise! If the user is suffering from a migraine headache and seeking peace and solitude along the garden path along which he lost his way, perhaps he might apply pressure to the head for some relief, but why against the wall? How could that possibly help? I’ve heard about banging one’s head against a wall, but this is truly ridiculous.

Some other bathroom ideas that may or may not work can be found in Toby’s fine piece, Small Bathroom? Make It Vertical With Vertabrae and Elizabeth Valeri’s clever exposé on The Bull’s-eye Toilet Bowl.

The mystery of the motivation behind the Forehead Support Apparatus may well, like Stonehenge, remain so for all time.

Let’s hope so.

N’est ce pas?