Can You Say “Sleeping Pills?”

Methods of Promoting Sleep Systems known also as Patent# US 6997070 involves positioning a person on a mattress in a lying position. One arm extends perpendicular to the torso. A pillow is placed underneath the sleeper’s head and a force is applied to that arm in the direction of the feet. This force is used to determine whether the proper combination of mattress and pillow is achieved. If it seems to you that just waiting until you are tired before you go to sleep and closing your eyes do the trick, then you don’t understand this invention and probably don’t deserve it. (Lucky you!)
There is something to be said about the mysteries of life even when they are patents. Sometimes the patent and its purpose is not only an enigma to others but also to the inventor himself. It would appear that the Methods of Promoting Sleep Systems is precisely that. Its dark destiny of comparing the amount of resistance to the applied force when lying on the first pillow with the amount of resistance to the applied force when lying on the second pillow to determine which of the forces is the greatest seems a fruitless task. Just go to sleep, you fool.

The idea behind this invention relates to methods for determining appropriate combinations of mattresses and pillows. Finding the correct mattress can be a difficult task and within the United States alone, there are literally hundreds of makes and models of mattresses, such as firm mattress, plush mattresses, and the like. Still, go to sleep, you fool.

Other inventors have tapped into the realm of sleep. Consider Gloria Campos’ piece, “Discarded Dreams Mattress Competition Is Here”. After all, if you can’t sleep you don’t need your mattress, do you? Read also Steve Levenstein’s article, “Slumber Like a Mummy with the King Tut Sleeping Bag”.

Golden dreams!