“Wet Leisure Assistant”
Lifeguards are no longer on hand to rescue swimmers in Ceredigion, Mid Wales – after council bosses decided to term the employees “wet leisure assistants”. The absurd description is one of a raft of euphemistic job titles dreamt up by modern managers desperate to attract a higher calibre of candidates, but which give little insight into the position on offer.
In today’s job market, a rubbish collector is a “waste management and disposal technician” rather than a bin man, while nurses are known as “modality managers”.
These are just two examples submitted by readers of an online BBC survey asking for examples of ludicrous job advertisements.
One reader, who identified himself as Carl, from Hull, said: “Whilst at university I worked as a lifeguard. However, my official title from Ceredigion County in Wales was a wet leisure assistant, which always made my friends laugh.”
Brigitte, from Hove, said: “I’m a modality manager in a hospital. Patients never know what that means, so I explain that it’s just a newfangled, politically correct title for a good old ward sister.
“Patients often get a bit worried when they first see my name badge and ask me what exactly a mortality manager does.”
A number of call centre employees submitted their job titles, including “communications executive” and “collection and recoveries credit services adviser”.
One of the most opaque submissions was from Gav in Sydney, Australia, who wrote: “I had the rather uninspired job title of Head of Inspiration for a while. I failed to live up to it.”
Here are ten of the most ridiculous job titles
1. Wet leisure assistant – Lifeguard
2. Modality manager – Nurse
3. Waste management and disposal technician – Bin man
4. Information adviser – Librarian
5. Direct debit and membership and professional development stock and credit administrator – Customer services administrator.
6. Family protection consultant – Insurance telesales worker
7. Investment development and research analyst – Technical helpdesk worker
8. Worldwide marine asset financial analyst – Accountant
9. Debt management officer / Field force agent – Tax collector
10. Coordinator of interpretive teaching – Museum tour guide