Drug Screening At A Pie Eating Contest?

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No drugs used here!

Baseball, football, bodybuilding — so many sports have been impacted by athletes secretly using performance-enhancing drugs. Sadly, even competitors in pie-eating competitions have resorted to such nefarious cheating. But officials at the upcoming World Pie Eating Championships in Wigan, UK have taken steps to keep athletes honest:

Championships Executive President Tony Callaghan, owner of Harry’s Bar, said: “Gravy has traditionally been the performance-enhancing drug of choice amongst pie eaters at this level, but since we banned it after a series of questionable concoctions were created by contenders, they’ve been trying to find other ways of generating lubricative advantage – and we’re hearing rumours that cough mixture is the new Bisto…

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