Never Enough Caffeine Buzz? Try Captain Buzz’s Spazztroids

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For those whose morning buzz lacks glow, don’t give up! A new breakfast cereal promises to top your morning off with speed and efficiency. The first tester of Captain Buzz’s new Spazztroids cereal went 27 days without sleep, after eating only one bowl. During that time, he was able to speed through required doctoral course work and complete his PhD dissertation on “The Hallucinations of a Sleep-Deprived Mind.”

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