Smell Like A Nerd: RPG Performance Perfumes

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Don’t you wish you could smell like me?

Yesterday we told you about blood type perfumes. Today we have something even wackier. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab is selling a line of RPG-inspired perfumes intended to invoke the mythical races of elves, dwarves, half-elves, hobbits and orcs, as well as the distinctive aromas of clerics, fighters, mages, paladins and such. I totally guessed that paladins smelled like vanilla and “evil” smelled of “Smouldering opium tar, tobacco absolute, green tea, black plum, kush, ambergris accord, ambrette seed, and costus root…”

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‘Boobquake’ Determined To Prove Cleric Wrong

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If she’s incorrect we’re really gonna be screwed anyway…
A one-woman mission to prove breasts don’t cause earthquakes has swollen into a shirt-straining global movement preparing for the inaugural “Boobquake”. Iranian cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi angered womens’ groups around the world on Monday when he claimed that promiscuous women were responsible for literally making the earth move. “Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,” Sedighi said.

“What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble?” he asked during a prayer sermon on Friday. “There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam’s moral codes.”

REALLY? No other solution?

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Women Who Incite Extramarital Sex ‘Cause More Earthquakes’ Claims Iranian Cleric

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Iranian women outside a shopping mall in Tehran.

Women who dress “inappropriately” incite extramarital sex that in turn cause more earthquakes, a senior Iranian hard-line cleric has claimed.  Attractive women who snub traditional Islamic clothing to instead wear fashionable clothes and apply heavy make-up, caused youths in the country to “go astray” and have affairs, Ayatollah Kazem Sedighi said.

 

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