Don’t you wish you could smell like me?

Yesterday we told you about blood type perfumes. Today we have something even wackier. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab is selling a line of RPG-inspired perfumes intended to invoke the mythical races of elves, dwarves, half-elves, hobbits and orcs, as well as the distinctive aromas of clerics, fighters, mages, paladins and such. I totally guessed that paladins smelled like vanilla and “evil” smelled of “Smouldering opium tar, tobacco absolute, green tea, black plum, kush, ambergris accord, ambrette seed, and costus root…”

DWARF: Iron filings and chips of stone, Styrian Golding hops, and soot-covered leather.

ELF: Pale golden musk, honeycomb, amber, parma violet, hawthorne bark, aspen leaf, forest lily, life everlasting, white moss, and a hint of wild berry.

HALF-ELF: White sandalwood, beeswax, white tea leaf, oud, and a hint of sophisticated urban musk.

HALFLING: Porridge, kukui nuts, and pastry crumbs.

ORC: Field grey courgette musk, roughly cured leather, and vetiver.

CLERIC: Rose amber, frankincense, myrrh, champaca flower, Peru balsam, cistus, palisander, cananga, hyssop, and narcissus absolute.

FIGHTER: Leather, musk, blood, and steel.

MAGE: All mystique and thrumming power: gurjum balsam, Sumatran dragon’s blood resin, olibanum, galangal, oleo gum resin, and frankincense.

The RPG Series

via Neatorama