Wall hopping, the latest extreme swimming sport!

Quote of the Day: “Those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.”  – Kurt Vonnegut

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…and it still tastes like chicken!

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Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but who’s imitating who?

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Similar to how my wife gets me to follow her!

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Green Ankle Scarf. The new fragrance from Ralph Lauren.

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Calling a truce until dinner is over!

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Why does grandmother’s house have to be so fricking far away?

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Move over “pigs in the blanket” there’s a new kid in town!

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If I can just (grunt) move (grunt) these (gunt) buildings (grunt) aside…

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Rule of thumb: Never play chess against an opponent who doesn’t wear pants!

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Nothing epitomized pure evil quite like a cancer cell!

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I just saved 15% on my car insurance…

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And even before preschool, she learned how to speak “puppy!”

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A soliloquy of sparks for your listening pleasure.

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It’s almost as if you want some…

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It’s not quite the end of the world, but on second thought, it IS the end of the world!

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I gotta get me some BALL!

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She loves me not…

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Hmm. I hope this doesn’t give me heartburn.

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Finally, a set of crayons for the emotionally imbalanced!

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Surprise! Even turtles have involuntary orgy issues!

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Human bats, caught in full prayer mode!

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In the land of OZ…

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I think my coffee is electric!

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Thanks for the tip. I will be certain to brush AND floss after eating.

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Once again, thank you Amazon! I ordered a lesser model, and you sent me an upgrade!

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Crap. That gray hair is really starting to show.

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A flock of the rare rotary phone sheep in captivity!

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The Alzheimer’s shower!

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