He didn’t have brainstorms often, but when he did, they were a doozy
“What does a squirrel do in the summer? It buries nuts. Why? Cos then in winter time he’s got something to eat and he won’t die. So, collecting nuts in the summer is worthwhile work. Every task you do at work think, would a squirrel do that? Think squirrels. Think nuts.” – – David Brent
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Saving the roo from getting stuck in the goo
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Confidence: The feeling you experience before you fully understand the gravity of the situation.
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You only meet your once in a lifetime friend… once in a lifetime.
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I just happened to be in the neighborhood…
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When massaging a monkey, its best to ignore the squeaky parts down below
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Nailed it!
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Even though she was little more than a cremated pile of ashed, Jenny’s mom would
continue to haunt her until every last spec was vacuumed away
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Hey, hold on! I’m trying to catch up
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Inside every tree is an inner chair just dying to get out
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Reincarnation has a weird sense of humor
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Adolph Hipster
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Perspective is only important if you don’t have it
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Damn it!
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I’m sensing a disturbance in the barcode for the force
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Before there was Shrek, there was Donkey. Before there was Donkey, there was still Donkey
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Not everything that happens in a sperm bank is above board
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Will this friggin’ day ever end?
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Women have been known to drive thousands of miles just to borrow the “O” Blanket
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For Sparky, every day is a “cool day”
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Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
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If my passenger is happy, I’m happy
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Pigeons are a car-wash’s best friend
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Rule #1 – When teasing tigers, always make sure you are outside of their infamous
I-will-tear-your friggin’-head-off leaping ability
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Just trying to fit in
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Little Know Fact – Breastfeeding will soon become an Olympic Sport,
and soon the most-watched Olympic Sport of all time
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