When spies attempt to infiltrate the ranks of PETA, nothing can be left to chance
“People say New Yorkers can’t get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.” – – David Letterman
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In the future, carpenter’s pay will be based strictly on performance
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Don’t worry, we’re from the Internet
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I’m all ears…. no, literally
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My latest diet book recommended I get rid of all my containers, so I did
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A few of the government’s job creation schemes still have a few wrinkles, but at least they are always hiring
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Even inanimate objects sometimes have an identity crisis
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The nightmares that stuff is made from
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When going through a divorce, it’s best to make all your money stand up and pay attention
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Whooaah! Foot!
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Big hairy fuzzy things just make her smile. And so does the cat
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…and then this happened
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The snow plow cleared the street, and then a giant dog showed up
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Hell has no fury like a woman scorned
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If it walks like a duck and acts like a duck…. Nope! ….definitely not a duck
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The ultimate shopping experience
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Having an underwater parking garage virtually insures the car will never be stolen.
However, the plan wasn’t without its flaws
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Apparently it’s been a problem
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Internet prodigies are getting younger every year
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Not gonna happen
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I’m not even sure how that would work. Are they made to be molestable?
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Wow, that was a mistake! Tenth degree hot sauce at the Chili Hut? Never again!
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I’ve always wondered how water knows how to stick together. Now I know!
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Occasionally you will find someone who is just married to themselves
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When driving a car, never, never, never divide by zero
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After getting turned away by Mr. Tight Wad, we went next door
and got similar treatment from his sister
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When eating spaghetti, its not uncommon for it to get a little messy
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