baby oil 23456

Oh baby oil. What you do for me!

Instructables has a very informative and interesting post on more uses for baby oil.

Have you heard that joke about baby oil? The one that goes something like:

If corn oil is made with corn and peanut oil is made with peanuts, then what is baby oil made with?

The answer: Baby oil is made with mineral oil and fragrance by industrial professionals; babies don’t have the fine motor skills or chemistry knowledge to create baby oil, duh.

Baby oil is useful for a lot of things beyond baby bottoms. It’ll smooth, soften, lubricate, refinish, clean, and so much more. It also has some usual uses for which it really oughtn’t be used. Read on for some tips and tricks that’ll help you step your baby oil game up.

First, some don’ts

Don’t use baby oil as a “personal” lubricant, particularly if you are using a latex condom. (Just look at the next step to see who wins in the latex vs. baby oil battle royale.)

Don’t use baby oil to tan. Melanoma looks bad enough without being shiny.

Don’t eat baby oil. It has laxative properties and likely doesn’t taste delicious. (Mineral oil is safe for human consumption, but only up to around 100 mg. Many of those milligrams come from food-grade mineral oil that’s used in baking and other industrial food processing places because it’s odorless and tasteless. My guess is that baby oil mineral oil isn’t food-grade. Stay safe: don’t guzzle a bottle of it.)

Don’t use it in your 2-stroke engine.

Don’t aim baby oil at helicopter pilots. Wait… that’s for lasers. But you should still be careful around helicopter pilots with baby oil. It can be a slip-fall hazard, and pilots prefer the scent of aviation fuel.

Here They Are…

  1. Use it as a massage oil. Remember our latex lessons from the previous step. Rubber gloves will degrade, as will balloons and some parts of massager attachments.
  2. When in-ear headphones were just starting to become a thing, I went deaf in one ear. Panicked, I went to the doctor only to discover that I had a cebum compaction, earwax clogging my ear to the point I couldn’t hear. Gross, right? For the temporarily hearing impaired, there’s an easy home remedy to handle that waxy buildup: baby oil!
  3. Put some baby oil on a cotton ball. Gently rub it over any eye makeup that you want to remove. Maybe use another cotton ball to wipe away any excess oil.
  4. Put a few drops into the next bath you draw. It’ll leave your skin feeling touchably soft and silky. May not prevent pruniness in the extremities.
  5. Use as an after-shave oil after shaving any non-face part of the body. Works best as a layer over the top of some traditional moisturizer to lock in the freshness.
  6. More here….

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