Once again, FedEx has been testing out new delivery systems
“An ugly baby is a very nasty object – and the prettiest is frightful.” – – Queen Victoria
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During the auditions, they were looking for a Paris Hilton character and here’s what showed up
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Shepherds from Iran circa 1952. Apparently fashion is important to sheep
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Its always easy to be the center of attention if you’re willing to cater to suckers
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Sometimes they play with toys, other times its the tubes they come in
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Dirty little secret – Extreme meditation will turn your eyelids blue
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Time stops wiggling when you hear them giggling
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Meowy Christmas
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Caught in a gravitational up-draft
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Happiness is like a mirage, if you stare at it long enough, it disappears. Yeah, pretty much gone
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You only get one chance to make a first impression. Whoah! You blew it!
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Life is full of people who want to point out the losers, and they’re total idiots for thinking they’re better
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Beauty only works if it overshadows the background. In this case, beauty is a distraction
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When you’re squished to the max, make sure you’re surrounded by those
who don’t mind the squishing sounds you make
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Stop tickling me! Do I look like Elmo!?!?
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Love often occurs in the presence of quiet sucking sounds
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Sometimes the only direction you can go is straight down
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Many of life’s greatest mistakes begin with a brief moment of curiosity
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All of the world’s greatest accomplishments will attract teams from the future
to understand what happened. Best to wear clean underwear at all times
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Some of life’s greatest illusions were never an illusion at all. Just some crazy guy playing games with you
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Most men are attracted to women who like to horse around
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When unemployment runs out, it becomes full time work to get back on
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Once again Vice President Joe Biden dropped the “F” bomb
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Sarah Jessica Parker learning yoga
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Hearing that Obama’s healthcare plan won’t work just makes me sad
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I’ve always admired those who can ignore gravity and keep smiling …even when they know what’s coming
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Who would have dreamed an iceberg would have one of these on it?
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All life’s journeys have a beginning, middle, and end. The great ones will also include a few rope burns
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Going down swinging
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Fighting fire with, well, err …not fire
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