Below the surface, baby ducklings have mastered the fine art of silent poetry. However,
above the surface, it’s not so silent.
“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.” – – Mel Brooks
.
How do the angels get to sleep when the devil leaves the porch light on?
.
.
.
Every species has its own version of crazy people
.
.
.
When you gaze long enough into the abyss, the abyss gazes back at you
.
.
.
After he masters the moon, we’ll teach him to go after more important things
like parked cars and blue-haired women in wheel chairs
.
.
.
Sadly, his obsession with butts didn’t stop with humans
.
.
.
If you don’t feel at home with the other characters in your gym, you’re going to the wrong gym
.
.
.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity
.
.
.
“Yes, I AM happy to see you”
.
.
.
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
But just because they’re silent doesn’t mean they are your friends
.
.
.
If everything seems under control, you’re just not going fast enough
.
.
.
The world is filled with huge mistakes waiting to happen
.
.
.
“Oh, this little thing? It’s just something I threw together”
.
.
.
When you are feeling down and out, remember,
it’s less about the “down” and far more about the “out”
.
.
.
Some dogs have all the virtues we dislike and none of the vices we admire
.
Photo by Dmitri Markine Photography www.dmitrimarkine.com
Most relationships are a slow motion train-wreck. This one, however, is
much closer to being the Hinderburg
.
.
.
Behind every great fortune, there is a cookie
.
.
.
Any woman who feels comfortable with being comfortable,
is just one man away from total disaster
.
.
.
Animal cruelty or baggage cruelty? You decide!
.
.
.
“Listen Jill, I just can’t do it anymore”
.
.
.
After 2,000 hours of meticulous craftsmanship, attending to every detail,
Harold was shocked to find out there was no market for his product
.
.
.
Beauty is not in the face, but a light in the heart. And the short ugly one has way more light
.
.
.
Playing ping pong is a sport in much the same way that throwing bricks at other people isn’t
.
.
.
Wow! I can’t believe I ate the whole thing! Why didn’t anyone stop me?
.
.
.
After the “mood ring” came the “mood head”
.
.
.
As always, the real fun is happening inside the minds of the rubber duckies
.
.
.
Special effects have never been quite so special
.
.
.
Yes, it does come with mustache
.
.
.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
.
.
.
You knew it was coming! “It’s on!”
.
.
.
Warning: The people you trust with guarding your life
are not the same people you want inspecting your meat
.
.
.
