Odds of failure – 100%
“Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offering to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren’t so exciting.” – – Bill Gates
.
.
.
The presidential race got off to a rocky start in Iowa last week…
.
.
.
Hmm, I guess wind power puts out just as much smoke as oil
.
.
.
Before my dog, Dylan, got his own Facebook account, no one knew he delivered Christmas trees
.
.
.
Remember, only you can prevent forest fires! Well, maybe not you, the one who’s just
standing there all zoned out and everything
.
.
.
The shortest path to Santa is through this beluga whale. He’s got Santa’s ear. No, literally!
.
.
.
Perhaps misguided moral passion is better than confused indifference,
but how can I tell for sure without becoming confused and indifferent?
.
.
.
Hmm… let me think…
.
.
.
Listen up, maggots!
.
.
.
NO! I hate going to grandma’s
.
.
.
Charles Schultz when he was a baby. Now we know!
.
.
.
Baby dolphin in utero. If you, as a mother-to-be, had a choice between giving birth to a baby human
or a baby dolphin, which would you choose? Keep in mind, nursing a baby dolphin could get kinda weird
.
.
.
Spend one night. I dare you!
.
.
.
Beware of those who can’t be bothered by details
.
.
.
Is this a glitch in the Matrix? Should I take the red pill or the green one? Help, I’m running out of time!
.
.
.
Just along for the ride
.
.
.
Every great artist has a way of tapping into their inner self,
sometimes going several layers deep
.
.
.
Light biter
.
.
.
Ice sculptures have a way of giving you the cold shoulder, and you don’t mind
.
.
.
Miniature cheerio donuts. They bring out the miniature cop in all of us
.
.
.
Meanwhile back in Sweden
.
.
.
Just because your truck says you’re “cool,” it doesn’t mean squat when you’re burning in hell
.
.
.
This pretty much sums up my past dating experiences
.
.
.
It’s so rare to have “down” as a viable option
.
.
.
There’s always one
.
.
.
Guard dog for the weird and unpretentious, and weird. Did I mention weird?
.
.
.
How some people treat the constitution
.
.
.
“I see Jerry! Do you see Jerry? Aw, I miss Jerry…”
The future of video gaming. Could it possibly be less appealing?
.
.
.
Owl drink to that
.
.
.