Clearly Van Damme has inspired people everywhere to do a knockoff of his Volvo “splits” ad!
Quote of the Day: “The tax code is now nine times longer than the Bible, and not nearly as interesting.” – Rob Portman
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Funniest joke ever!
Quote of the Day: “Just an FYI: If scientists invented the legal system, eye witness testimony would be inadmissible evidence.” – Neil deGrasse Tyson
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Help Wanted: Teachers in Afghanistan. Also Wanted: A School!
Quote of the Day: “A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.” — Baltasar Gracian
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Now, for my next trick, I present hoover cat!
Quote of the Day: “Just the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.” – Carl Sagan
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Even before they hacked your emails and phone calls, the NSA had you under serious scrutiny!
Quote of the Day: “Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.” — Dame Edna Everage
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Much like Dr Frankenstein, she was determined to bring her old clothes back to life!
Quote of the Day: “We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.” – Robert Wilensky
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Help Wanted: Cocktail waitresses in Iceland. Must adapt well to extreme temperatures!
Quote of the Day: “I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.” – Elayne Boosler
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It was all fun and games with the yellow tape until the truck came!
Quote of the Day: “Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.” – Erica Jong
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When life gives you square wheels, it’s up to you to figure out how to make them roll!
Quote of the Day – “My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists.” — Jean Rostand
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Bubbles, much like political promises, are only seconds away from being hot air again!
Quote of the Day: “Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.” – Napoleon Bonaparte
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We should be able to travel everywhere by “pool!”
Quote of the Day: “You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.” – – Drew Carey
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Testing football helmets, 1912. No idea how they’d know if they found a bad one!
Quote of the Day: “I realize that I’m generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don’t care.” – Dave Barry
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