Yes, time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its students
“It depends upon what your definition of the word ‘is’ is.” – – William Jefferson Clinton
.
As we celebrate the 4th of July, we should be thankful
we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for
.
.
.
Most people are like cats in a litter box. They instinctively
shuffle things around to conceal what they’ve done
.
.
.
The talent we need is far greater than the talent we currently have,
and major turning points in history seldom look any more magical than this
.
.
.
Little known secret – The help desk at most GPS companies relies heavily on
homing pigeons to give people accurate directions
.
.
.
Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit
.
.
.
Sometimes I wake up grouchy, but other times I let her sleep
.
.
.
Isolation is only meaningful if you crave human contact. Ok, so that would be all the time
.
.
.
.
.
Things will get better — despite our best efforts to improve them
.
.
.
A good metaphor can make any bad idea sound good, but I’m drawing a blank here
.
.
.
Nothing in life is more complicated than remaining still
.
.
.
To be sure, this guy is one big hairy audacious deal
.
.
.
Life is full of freaky forces of nature, but this is just how rocks reproduce
.
.
.
If you feel you were born to lead, selecting your followers is a critical next step
.
.
.
Everything is funny as long as its happening to someone else
.
.
.
Life is already full of tough choices and then someone throws this into the mix
.
.
.
Mystery fruit
.
.
.
Even in death, the game continues
.
.
.
A smiling dog is most likely a sneaky bastard covering up for something big
.
.
.
Never trust a rock with a dental problem
.
.
.
Like father, like son
.
.
.
A glovely little guy, isn’t he?
.
.
.
Rarely do Halloween costumes require you hold your breath for hours on end
.
.
.
Having saturated the human clothing market,
Wal-Mart is now working to dominate the animal market too
.
.
.
The magnitude of an accomplishment is always
proportional to the size of the starting disadvantage
.
.
.
It was one well-stapled city
.
.
.
Extreme refereeing
.
.
.
I can see the face, but what does the rest of his body look like?
.
.
.
Perhaps we should raise the ethics requirements for genetic engineers
.
.
.
Whenever a photographer says he will work for free, be sure to check his references
.
.
.
