Yes, some flowers are simply magical
“Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.” – Yogi Berra
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She had promised him a good time on their wedding night,
but there was no food left. Now what?
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
George Bernard Shaw
“A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.” – – George Bernard Shaw
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Gravity is not always your friend. Especially on Mondays!
“Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.” – – Robin Williams
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Today’s couch potatoes have a way of turning every disaster into a spectator sport
“I saw the movie, ‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon’ and I was surprised because I didn’t see any tigers or dragons. And then I realised why: they’re crouching and hidden.” – – Steve Martin
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Sadly, very few mail-order bride companies offer a “freshness guarantee”
“If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there’ll be a shortage of sand.” – – Milton Friedman
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When spies attempt to infiltrate the ranks of PETA, nothing can be left to chance
“People say New Yorkers can’t get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.”
David Letterman
“People say New Yorkers can’t get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.” – – David Letterman
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He didn’t have brainstorms often, but when he did, they were a doozy
What does a squirrel do in the summer? It buries nuts. Why? Cos then in winter time he’s got something to eat and he won’t die. So, collecting nuts in the summer is worthwhile work. Every task you do at work think, would a squirrel do that? Think squirrels. Think nuts.
David Brent
“What does a squirrel do in the summer? It buries nuts. Why? Cos then in winter time he’s got something to eat and he won’t die. So, collecting nuts in the summer is worthwhile work. Every task you do at work think, would a squirrel do that? Think squirrels. Think nuts.” – – David Brent
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Whenever he hears “no” he knows he needs to increase the volume
“You can always count on Americans to do the right thing – after they’ve tried everything else.” – – Winston Churchill
You can always count on Americans to do the right thing – after they’ve tried everything else.
– Winston Churchill
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“I don’t have a solution but I certainly admire the problem”
“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – – Douglas Adam