Once again, Congress is making plans to fix the tax code
“What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.” – – Dave Berry
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When Dr. Seuss came up with the idea, this wasn’t what he had in mind
“The only difference between a taxman and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.” – – Mark Twain
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Electric vehicles are far easier to repair. Just flip and fix
“You don’t have to worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.” – – Charles Schulz
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The look of innocence is always the calm before the storm
“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” – – Sir Winston Churchill
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As with all cats, the warm fuzzy exterior is merely window dressing for
the cold-hearted manipulating bastard that lies within
“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.”
Dave Barry
“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.” – – Dave Barry
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As with most politicians, breathing fire creates a good sideshow
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
Jack Handey
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” – – Jack Handey
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The inside-outside upside-downside car. The most fun you can have on four headrests
“I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.” – – Oscar Wilde
“I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.” – – Oscar Wilde
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Yes, some flowers are simply magical
“Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.” – Yogi Berra
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She had promised him a good time on their wedding night,
but there was no food left. Now what?
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
George Bernard Shaw
“A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.” – – George Bernard Shaw
Craigslisp Is Craigslist … With a Lisp
Welp, another site that no one asked for has been born, and despite the fact that it’s just one joke over and over again… and that the name is a pun… it’s somehow still funny.
Craigslisp allows you to browse regular Craigslist, but instead of the voice in your head being yours, somehow that kid from your third grade class pops in there. Or Daffy Duck. Or a person who’s missing a few teeth…
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Gravity is not always your friend. Especially on Mondays!
“Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.” – – Robin Williams
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Today’s couch potatoes have a way of turning every disaster into a spectator sport
“I saw the movie, ‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon’ and I was surprised because I didn’t see any tigers or dragons. And then I realised why: they’re crouching and hidden.” – – Steve Martin