For Valentine’s Day, Name a Roach After Your Loved One

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A Valentine’s Day To Remember.

“Flowers wilt.  Chocolates melt.  Roaches are forever.”

That’s the advice offered by the Bronx Zoo in conjunction with their limited-time Valentine’s Day offer:

How better to express your appreciation for that special someone than to name a Madagascar hissing cockroach after them?

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32 Percent of Russians Think the Sun Revolves Around Earth

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Many Russians are a little off on their science.

Does the sun revolve around Earth? Is radioactivity a human invention? Did humans ever live side by side with dinosaurs? A surprising number of people in Russia answered those and other questions with a resounding “yes.”

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64-Year Old Man First to Cross the Atlantic in a Kayak Nonstop

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Kayaking to the beat of a different paddle.

Aleksander Doba, 64, crossed the Atlantic Ocean from Dakar, Senegal to Acaraú, Brazil in almost a hundred days. He’s the first person to do so nonstop:

After 98 days, 23 hours, 42 minutes at sea, Doba and his custom 23-foot-long, 39-inch-wide human-powered kayak landed at Acaraú, a city on Brazil’s northeast coast. The trip covered some 3,320 miles in all, and Doba became only the fourth known person to accomplish such a feat, and the very first to do it nonstop…

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Chinese Develop Gait-Biometrics Surveillance

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Another way to be under surveillance.

A confidential United States embassy dispatch released by Wikileaks provides details about a new technology developed by the Chinese Academy of Science to identify people by their gait.

The technology is designed to be deployed beneath existent flooring. From there it measures pedestrian pace and walking pressure to create a unique biometrics profile which can be used to identify and track the movements of individuals without their knowledge…

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Electric Beauty Lift High Nose

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Am I beautiful yet?

Want to lift your nose? Now you can with the Electric Beauty Lift High Nose.

Push up that nose of yours to create the perfect profile with this handy Beauty Lift High Nose, a beauty gadget that applies gentle electric vibrations from the bottom, side and front. Just slip it on and turn on the switch on the front of the frame…

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Restaurant Makes Handbags From The Cow You Eat

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Fashion Directly From Your Food

Forget about plunking down thousands of dollars and putting your name on a yearlong waiting list – to score New York’s latest “it” bag, you’re encouraged to eat the cow it comes from first. Sold exclusively at the Williamsburg restaurant Marlow & Sons, Breton tote bags boast supple leather and a price tag that ranges from $300 to $400.

But buying one isn’t so easy…

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Sex Ban Suggested for Belgian Coalition Negotiators

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Sex bans have helped form governments in the past.

The partners of Belgian politicians are being urged to go on a sex strike until a government is formed. The country had general elections last June but parties have so far been unable to form a governing coalition.

Socialist senator Marleen Temmerman said after a week of a similar sex ban in Kenya in 2009, a government was formed. Previous attempts to pressure Belgian negotiators into agreement have included a “grow a beard” campaign.

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Hole-Digging Competition In Japan

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Over a thousand people gathered on the outskirts of Tokyo, shovels in hand, to dig it out for the top prize in the Japan All-National Hole Digging Competition and claim the coveted Golden Shovel award. The contest drew participants from all over the country to test their hole-digging prowess and claim awards not only for the deepest hole, but also for most creative hole and the most original costume worn during the digging.

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Smile, Darn Ya, Smile!

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A great smile at a certain price.

Want your child to turn that frown upside down? By any means necessary? This feels like it belongs on Arrested Development, alongside the injury-inducing cornballer, but amazingly enough it’s areal thing. And there’s only a “slight twitch side effect!” Hooray for science!

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Woman Will Eat Dog Food on YouTube Every Day Until Animal Rights Law Passes

FOR NITRO!

Miami Beach resident Nikki Moustaki plans to eat dog food at least once a day every day until an Ohio animal cruelty law known as Nitro’s Law is passed. The law was spurred after 12 starving and 7 dead dogs were discovered in High Caliber K-9, a boarding kennel in Youngstown, OH.

The law is named after Nitro, a pet Rottwieler who died at the facility while his family had to attend to a sick relative out of state, and would increase animal cruelty to a fifth degree felony in Ohio punishable by up to a year in jail. Ohio is only one of nine states that doesn’t count the first count of animal cruelty as a felony. The law was passed in the state’s House of Representatives, but died in the Senate…

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